Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
