I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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