I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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