I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
