You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
