We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
