Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
