Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
