"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
