guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
