clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
