wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
