i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
