Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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