Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize