they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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