But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
