is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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