she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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