Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
