nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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