He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
