Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize