I can tuck mytits in my pants
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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