I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
