What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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