ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
