He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
