is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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