Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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