i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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