Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
