she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
