i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
