Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hippo gnu deer
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
