I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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