I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
