I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
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