we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
