That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
