I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
