I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
