once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
