Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Acid is not a monday night drug
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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