if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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