I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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