I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize