ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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