I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize