I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
