How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
