Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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