i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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