Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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