lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
