Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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